Arcs Guide to Sleep

[Arcdelad]

just cant break away from wow early enough to enjoy the emerald dream? I feel your pain, and offer you my surefire way guide to well-restedness as a WOW addict

(Important: must play "How to save a life" as background mental music, replacing all whiny, oervly nasally lyrics with "How to get some sleep")

The two most important numbers to you are what time you finally log and what time that blaring alarm starts its incessant calling for you to get up - for this example well use 3:13 and 4:30 (the two numbers I had from last night).

(Optional first step for parents - cram that loose binky in your babies mouth - nothing is going to be worse than you laying down for your 1.5 hour 'nap' and your demon spawn wakes up asking to be fed or something else equally ridiculous)

First step - fall asleep right away. No thinking, no dreams, no contemplation. You should be asleep within 5 seconds of your head hitting the pillow..advanced sleep benders will actually fall asleep as they are laying down, with sleep masters falling asleep as they are walking over to the bedroom. (1.5 hours sleep)

Second step - Muster all of your fake sense of urgency for this day you can. Yeah...this day is going to most likely be mundane. BUT...today MIGHT be the day you get a promotion/get asked to be married/become a millionaire/invent time travel/reconcile your mistress and your wife. Probably not...but false hope can be a nice eye opener after your 1.5 hour siesta

Third step - only drive half awake. Think about it logically...if you are half awake it conversely means you are half asleep, and .5 x [commute time] = some good sleep time that cant be missed. For the expert, crank that up to .75 sleep; ie one eye half open, drool falling out of an open mouth, innefctive caffiene drink in hand...(.5 hours sleep)

Fourth step for those who work in a professional environment...tell your boss you need to really focus on that important task and are going to the conference room...most conference rooms have a sidelight, so you need to strategically position yourself with your back to the door / sidelight. Now...place your head in your left hand in a pseudo-concentrating manner, hold a pen in your right hand, angled to look like you have been writing, and take your nap. Noone will bother you, and it looks like you are working from a passerby who generally will have a 2-3 second window of time to look at you. (1.5 hours sleep)

Fifth step - you already have shown your body is NOT a temple, so forget lunch. Sleep in your car. Sleep in your car in the restaurant parking lot if that gives you some sense of transferred digestion by proximity. If you need extratime, tell your boss you had lunch with your wife / friend / mom / ghandi and they will be cool about it. Usually. (1 hour sleep)

Sixth step - repeat third step on drive home. Red lights make great napping stops, and the people behind you will ALWAYS be nice enough to wake you up when its time to move (guaranteed!) (.5 hours)

So now your home, and your sleep for that rest period has been a total of 5 hours...hibernating bears dont even get that much sleep!

I hope this guide helps any asdf............................................................................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Tolwen]

rofl!

[Muridin]

LOL!!!!   

[un4]

Sleep is for the weak.

[Luise]

Rofl Arc- but sleep is calling me...and wow will lose tonight...I love my sleep ...Sleep 1 Wow 0.
But today we had our school swimming carnival- a hard day for teachers ...and I had to swim in the relay- very stressful for someone who was a swimmer..25 years ago...I survived.

[Vengeance]

LOL
but i gotta say, i hate sleep, always sneaks on me...

[Drygioni]

If I may quote one of Shadow's favorite singers, Jon Bon Jovi...


"I'll sleep when I'm dead..."

[Genoism]

lol i like the last one