I hereby declare WAR

[Arcdelad]

Fellow Twilight-ers,

As most of you know, our fine city of Chicago has been undersiege as of late by the terrorist presence known as the Cicadas. While I am a historically slow to anger, slow to wrath type of guy, these winged menaces have proven that their ultimate agenda is not simply to annoy me, but to instead instigate an all out attack on the very moral fabric and values my great household has come to stand for (ie play warcraft until wee in the morning, convince your kids that picking up clothes and putting them in a basket is fun, and waiting until the worst, messiest dishes are piled up in the sink before declaring that you did the dishes last time and it is now the wife's turn).

When I first heard these buggy terrorists were coming to chicago for their once a 17 year visit, I was excited....how often do you get to see a re-enactment of a biblical plague?!? (well...Uso did once spread a certain unnamed disease to half of Arizona State University's female population, but that still didnt make TRULY biblical proportions).

However, the noise from these bugs quickly swelled into a concert of buzzing that would no doubt drown out a Metallica and Slayer battle of the bands concert. Imagine having to shout over the din of "buzzzzzzzzzz---BUUZZZ...buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...BUZZZZZ" just to tell your obstinate 3 year old to get in the car...

It was gross but barable when the tree in my backyard had literally 10 cicadas on every branch, each hopping from one branch to the next and flying around like a demented bug blue angels show. When my son stepped on a dead one and proudly proclaimed that he broke it, I was definitely proud (and began instruction on how to break people).

Then yesterday the coup de dat occured - I, like a good father-husband figure, went out to buy groceries for the family. Once out of the store, shopping cart in tow, no less than three cicadas nailed me in the side of the head. Compounding that, a cicada managed to get inside one of the grocery bags, and my wife discovered it while unpacking the groceries. WHile this was HILARIOUS, the underlying fact remains that one of their agents managed to infiltrate the sanctity of my house, and therefore committed a grievious crime.

Our very reliable and never infallible intelligence agencies recently report that Osama bin Cicada (see picture below) has been seen lurking in the forest preserve near my house. My first attempt to smoke em out was a failure, and my "Mission Accomplished" message on the bathrrom mirror in steam writing probably was a bit pre-mature (hence the all-time low approval ratings from my wife), but dag nabit I ain't gonna send no $10 million dollar missile to blow up a $10 hut...er...habitat.

These cicadas, along with fire ants in texas and swarms of gnats in Phoenix, have created an axis of bug evil that must be eliminated. Osama bin Cicada just last week released the following statement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ1FG1DHD6Q&mode=related&search=

Its time for these bugged terrorists to be eliminated. I have petitioned congress (ie the wife) for an additional $100 in supplemenetal spending (Which I will use on something computer related......SUCKA!!!!)...It is up to us to eliminate and remove this menace from our fine community....as the greatest actor of all time once said as Johny Rico in Starship Troopers, "The only good bug is a dead bug!!!!!!"

[usonian]

I did not.
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[Arcdelad]

LOL

[Genoism]

lol nice one arc and uso :p

[Kothnok]

LOL!

[Muridin]

We, the people of <coming up with name later>, lend full support to the Arcdelad government. WE see many pests here in australia, ( the rabbit, kangaroos ( yes, thats why we shoot 'em ) and feral cats and camels ) and we will lend the arcdelad president, up to the sum of, USD$10.00 ( works out cheaper for me, haha!! ) to be able to bribe the congress ( his wife ) to be able to train up his kids in the art of bug killing ( or to invent a movie warp to get the crew from starship troopers ).

NO LONGER LIVE THE BUGS!!!

[usonian]

If Australia exterminates feral cats, won't that put them at war with Arcdelad?  Better go bear form Arc...

[un4]

The following statement was issued by Grand Duke Dvalin I at 1910 hours today:

We, the people of Lethargia hereby pledge our support to the war waged by Arcdelad and his Coalition, provided that we are reimbursed at a later date for our efforts.  The assistance we are willing to provide includes use of one Rogue (of level 70) to work with Coalition forces in any non-heroic instance, global PvP and PvE, and any Battlegrounds needed.  Return payment will be accepted in the following forms:
1. Gold deposits made directly to Grand Duke Dvalin I
2. Alcohol deposits made directly to Grand Duke Dvalin I
3. Gear of Green (or better) quality to be forwarded to Grand Duke Dvalin I through the Countess Ghael
4. Alcohol deposits made directly to Grand Duke Dvalin I

In closing, if you are not with us, you are against us.

[Buzan]

"buzzzzzzzzzz---BUUZZZ...buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...BUZZZZZ" "

Someone called me ?

[Vengeance]

hahahaha good one...
call the exterminators!-pulls out a shotgun...

[Tolwen]

LOLz

[Arcdelad]

okay..all green cloth item drops now going Dvalin...especially those with +healing

[un4]