Hello, I am the ret

[Melonni]

I am the retribution paladin, maybe you have heard of me??

I am the one who is doing the melee dps on you.
Or sometimes also, the monster - but that is hard, because several people do not like it when I do that.

Sometimes I am said to "Hey yous, you ret. Get in the "BACK AND TOSSA LE HEALZ"

I el oh el at this notion - and substitute my own. Often times my retting has gotten me trouble - for example:

Many people don't want me to go with them to Karazhan
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Or even to simpler places, like adventuring inside of a shadow laboratory:
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Once I even was reported into the AFK's for being specced ret in a battleground:
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But I know what I can be capable of doing!! Even the Alliance has known of me:
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I have already beaten the World of Warcrafting because of ret. The king and Regent Lord have been vanquished:
YOU CAN DO THIS AS A ROGUE? NO! ONLY THE RET!!
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What was the last thing going through General Stormpike's head as I smashed it with my hammer? I will give you a hint - it rhymes with "OH GOD HE IS THE RET!!"
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Sometimes when I can finally find pals to do the raidings, I let them know the score right away. I tell THEM who the ret is:
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They don't forget at all.

So in conclusion, everybody I wanted you to know me, the ret. One day when more people are ret, I will look behind me and see less twriling fingers making girly heal magics. They will instead be making bruises - OR HOLES with weapons. Onto their enemies' faces, I think. One day, I will show up for the Karazhan raid, and I will see:
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AND BEHIND ME will be the rogues, who can not spell their own class, who are left behind. And I will say LOLrogue. They will say "YOU ARE THE RET?? I HAVE BEEN PEW PEWED" and cry. I will toss them a 34 crit heal and solemnly say "Yes, I am the ret, it is time for me to go now, because I have raid bosses to pew." In their anguish and keyboard turning, their A and D keys will explode, leaving them POWERLESS and UNABLE TO MOVE LEFT OR RIGHT - then, we strike in unison.

Thank you for reading bye!

/e
rookie rets, this is how you do it:
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Those who read the WoW official forums have probably seen this, but I still giggle whenever I read it ... it's a keylogger post with the links edited out. =)