Toilet Politics

[Arcdelad]

okay guys....let me premise this post by saying I am very, very good about putting the toilet seat lid down after I raise it to go to the bathroom. However, ONE time recently I did not do that, and I incurred the wrath of the wife like you have no idea.

So...I started thinking...why SHOULD we put the seat back down? Lets think of this purely logically and avoid any of the outdated "chivalry" notions that have been purged by mainstream feminist thoughts of true gender equality.

Women putting the seat down after a man leaves it up requires one physical action - lifting the toilet seat down. When a man has to use the bathroom in concordance with today's mainstream bathroom policies he has to 1) first lift the seat up, then after he pees 2) put the seat back down. Thus, the man has TWO actions, vs the woman's ONE if she only has to lower the seat.

Using the physics law that matter or energy can neither be created nor destroyed, there is only a set amount of energy in our world, and should be accordingly conserved. Also note that a man having to put the seat back down DOES consume calories and energy, meaning that there is an energy expenditure every time this action occurs. So...there are roughly 5 billion people in the world (4 billion live in China and India ), and women are generally born 60% of the time to men only being born 40% of the time. Thus, there are (very very roughly) 2 billion men in the world. Lets say arbitrarily putting the seat down uses 100 calories, that means men expend an extra and unnesesary 200 billion calories everytime every time the collective male population uses the bathroom.

This is an energy CRISIS. We as men need to stand up to this false notion of putting the seat back down and do our part for the environment and the world! Energy conservation!!!

[Darkling]

last time I got yelled at for leaving the seat up, I turned the table. I waited for her to use the bathroom. Then I went in after and came out in a fit, complaining that she left the toilet seat down. Point made. She never bothered me again about it.

[Jandris]

lmao - where do you come up with these ideas??
There is only one problem with your (ah) theory. Since energy can neither be created or destroyed, you are not saving energy, you are simply transfering it from one work force (men) to another (women).

[Shadowwolf]

You put WAY too much thought into this. hehe

To the best of my knowledge and reason for this bitch when I do come out with it comes down to a few reasons.

1) I have cats. My cats like water, part of the breed. Cats play in water and fall into toilet and get stuck or soaked and track water all over the house and white fur turns a bluish color that takes many dollars at the groomer to remove. While I have no kids, id imagine that children of a young age might act in the same way without the getting stuck part , but id imagine finding Thomas the Tank Engine lost at sea at the bottom causing hygiene and plumbing problems.

2) Bathroom etiquette. Keeping the seat down keeps any odors and unsightliness hidden from view should company "pop" over unexpectedly. While you cant walk around in a museum in expectation for company, the small things aid in keeping up appearances when the in-laws show up for coffee and degrading comments.

3) This one is debatable...mid-night bathroom usage. Like men, we women tend to make use of the facilities in the middle of the night and try to be as discreet and quiet as possible, sometimes not turning on the light depending on its relation to someones door/eyes as to not wake anyone up. With the seat down we dont necessarily "fall in" as 9 times out of 10 you aren't functioning with a 100% mind in the wee hours of the morning. Again this is debatable as men can claim the same for the opposite when they do target practice with the lights off as if you are a military commando or something.

In the end number 4 always prevails for me:

4) My house, my rules.

[Darkling]

You complain about th seat being up. Ok. I understand the scenario of you possibly drowning in the toilet if the seat is up. I give you that. What about when you have a toilet seat set, i.e. opening and cover, and the cover is down too? Are you going to complain that you pee'd all over yourself because YOU forgot to put the seat up? And it takes more energy to lift a cover than to put a seat down. Come on women,throw us a bone here. We do our best to make you think youare the most important things in our lives besides WoW.

[un4]

There is only one problem with your (ah) theory. Since energy can neither be created or destroyed, you are not saving energy, you are simply transfering it from one work force (men) to another (women).

Not true.  By putting the seat down, you're decreasing the amount of time before the eventual heat death of the universe, since no reaction is 100% efficient.

I leave the lid down so stuff doesn't fall in it

[Muridin]

In the end number 4 always prevails for me:

4) My house, my rules.

love that one ... but just think of this ... when ( scenario your male ) you hear your wife/girlfriend/lover yell out to you bout the seat not being down, just yell back "Would it kill you to look first?!"

[un4]

My (now ex-) SO once sat down on the lid by accident.  Oops? 

[Kothnok]

I leave it as I found it. 
You'd think I could avoid any and all blame for anything being in the wrong position... but you'd be wrong.

[Muridin]

I leave it as I found it. 

thats a good thing, leave it as you find it, its the unwritten law of the aussie outback ( more so for sheep farmers, ie. see a gatw open, when you pass through it, you leave it open ... same thing if its closed )

[Grendeel]

Worse case scenerio for a guy is peeing on the seat cover and having to clean it.   Worse case scenerio fora women is falling in (which i find hillarious but for some reason they dont! ).  Common curtesy to me is leaving the seat down and in my house the cover as well.

I did like the humor there TB  in having the woman sit and go witth the cover down.    However i dont think they would relieve themselves until they are comfortable.  (or most wouldnt )

[Tolwen]

lolz, very intersting topic 

does it really matter if the lid is up or down?

[Darkling]

I did like the humor there TB  in having the woman sit and go witth the cover down.    However i dont think they would relieve themselves until they are comfortable.  (or most wouldnt )

Put a cushion on it.

[Gailzee]

I just pee in a cup... game over.. 

[un4]

Like on a road trip... you buy a drink that comes in a 20+ oz. bottle, drain it, and refill it for ultimate efficiency!